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As I step into my 31st year on this earth, I carry with me the lessons that shaped me, the pain that stretched me, and the love that kept me going. My 30s have been a mix of loss and discovery, of letting go and holding on, of quiet realizations and loud awakenings. They have softened me and made me stronger all at once.
Here are thirty things I learned in my 30s — lessons carved into my heart, whispered by time, and sometimes, painfully taught.
1. Healing is not linear. I lost my mom, and with her, I lost a part of myself. Grief is a storm that never truly passes, but you learn to dance in the rain. Healing comes in waves—some days gentle, some days crashing, but always moving.
2. Not everything goes as planned, and that’s okay. Life rarely follows the script we write for it, but sometimes, the rewrites turn out even better.
3. Losing friends is not the end of the world. Some people are meant for a season, others for a lifetime. Cherish both.
4. Silence is golden, but connection matters too. I used to thrive in the chaos of social life, but now I find peace in quiet moments, in solitude, in the stillness of my own thoughts. That said, the right people—the ones who truly understand you—are worth making space for.
5. Manifesting works, but so does action. Dreaming without doing is just wishing. Envision the life you want, then take the steps to make it real.
6. Life is not bad every day. Some days are heavy, but most are light. Even in the hardest seasons, there is always something good, even in the smallest moments.
7. Embracing sadness is as important as embracing joy. You cannot numb pain without also numbing happiness. Feel everything—it’s all proof that you are alive.
8. The little things matter more than we think. The way the sun hits your skin in the morning. The text that says, “Thinking of you.” The quiet “I’m proud of you” from someone who matters. These are the moments that make life beautiful.
9. Hard work pays off, but only if you have the energy to enjoy it. Hustle, but don’t burn out. Success means nothing if you’re too exhausted to live the life you worked for.
10. Keep being giving. My mom always taught me this, and I will carry it with me for the rest of my life. Kindness never depletes you—it multiplies.
11. Your body is your longest commitment. Eat well, move often, and don’t take your health for granted.
12. Never underestimate the power of sunscreen. Future you will thank you.
13. Love yourself like you love your best friend. Speak to yourself kindly. Forgive yourself easily. Cheer for yourself loudly.
14. Find what truly matters and hold on to it. Whether it’s a passion, a person, or a purpose—prioritize it.
15. Journaling is therapy. Writing things down makes the weight of them easier to carry.
16. Mundane days are part of a meaningful life. Not every day has to be exciting to be worthwhile. The quiet, uneventful days are often the ones that bring the most peace. Growth and ambition are important, but so is being present in the simple moments.
17. Being ‘woke’ is necessary. We live in a time where silence is complicity. Stand for what is right, even when it’s uncomfortable.
18. Celebrate the success of others. Someone else’s victory does not diminish your own. Let it inspire you instead.
19. Learn to fight for yourself. Not everyone will, and that’s okay. Be your own advocate.
20. There are people silently rooting for you. Even when it doesn’t feel like it, you are loved. You are seen. You are not alone.
21. Tell people you love them—often and without hesitation. You never know when it will be the last time.
22. You are not behind. Life is not a race, but a journey. Trust your own timeline, and don’t let comparison steal your peace.
23. Mistakes are part of the process. Give yourself grace—learning comes from getting things wrong and trying again.
24. Protect your time and energy. Don’t say yes to everything; overcommitting leads to burnout, and underdelivering only brings guilt.
25. Walk your talk. Be consistent in your words and actions—integrity is built in the everyday choices you make.
26. Find beauty in every part of your journey. The wins, the losses, the detours, and the breakthroughs—all of them make your story whole.
27. Go see the world. Travel opens your mind, humbles your soul, and reminds you how big and beautiful life truly is.
28. Balance hope with action. Stay optimistic, but don’t lose sight of reality—dream big, but work for it too.
29. Push your limits, but honor your pace. Growth happens when you step outside your comfort zone, but that doesn’t mean rushing the process. Stretch yourself, but don’t break yourself.
30. Thirty was not the end of youth—it was the beginning of wisdom. And if my 30s have taught me this much already, I cannot wait to see what 31 will bring.
Here’s to another year of learning, of loving, of living.
